Discipline Mistakes Parents Make and How to Fix them

parentingWhen I was younger (and childless), I used to see kids throwing a fit in the middle of a toy store or at a restaurant. I would shake my head and vow to myself never to let that happen to me once I become a parent. Fast forward to now that I am a mom, I begin to understand that (a) kids will throw a tantrum and that’s normal (b) it is not always the parents’ fault. I say “not always” because truth be told, there are times when we, parents do things that will cause a child to misbehave. Here I list some of the mistakes we all make when disciplining our children:

1. Too many “No’s”

Imagine being told “no” several times a day: Can I have cookies? NO. Can I go- NO. Can I- NO. NO. NO. Not only is it tiresome, but too many “no’s” lose its meaning and influence. After sometime, your child will start to ignore the word “no” and hear the exact opposite of what you intend.

Focus on saying what you would want them to do, or give them an option. Instead of saying “No, you can’t have that cookie” Say, “Yes, you can have cookies after dinner.” Or “You can have pop corn or an apple instead.”

2. Telling lies

At some point, we all lie to our kids. “The toy store is closed today because it’s holiday.”  “Your stomach will hurt if you don’t finish your milk.” While some would say that it’s OK to fib sometimes, we should all try to avoid lying to them as much as possible. When you lie to your kids and they discover you’re not telling the truth, it will cause them to not trust you and will give them the wrong idea that lying is fine.

3. Bribing too often

It’s good to reward kids when they accomplish something great, but don’t overdo it. Saying “I’ll buy you an ice cream if you pick up your toys” is bribing, which is a totally different thing from rewarding. Bribing kids to make them do their responsibilities teaches them to expect a treat every time they behave appropriately.

Instead of bribing, tell your kid how happy it makes you when they obey.

4. Giving in

It’s sometimes easier to give in to your child’s demands when they start to act up, but yielding is like telling your child that he is the king and he can get whatever he wants. Be firm to your children and teach them that in the real world, we don’t always get what we want.

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